Thank you for this story. I’ve mentioned my sister Linda’s death by suicide to you before. Anyway, in the nearly 9 years she has passed, I often have dreams about her. My deceased parents are in some of those dreams, too. These dreams set me up for a good day as I truly feel like I’ve had a visit with them.
I do remember reading this on the Brevity blog, but well worth another read this morning as a reminder of the magic writing unleashes when we listen to the past.
occurrences big and small that sear into the brain edit like little shocks - flash visuals that seem 2 dimensional on a screen - but every slide in the show has a whole story behind it. You describe it so so well Rona. Very loving tribute to your dear pal. Grateful for your voice - makes us think. Feel. Helps us focus on the important matters.
“I’d focus on the sharpest corner of a memory, then wait as the whole picture came into focus.” Beautifully and vividly written, with details that bring a friend to life on the page.
This is gorgeous Rona. You've awakened memories of a friend I hadn't thought to write about. Perhaps its time to dig up (sorry that sounds kind of creepy) some of those characters. Brilliant!
Thank you, Rona. My daughter died four and a half years ago. I have the memories, fifty years of them, in my head and my dreams, but so far I haven't managed to write them. It hurts too much. But maybe writing them would help.
Ann, how devastating. Should you write your memories? I don’t wonder that the prospect unsettles you. And yet there’s powerful evidence that writing about traumatic events is good for us and helps us to bear the pain. James Pennebaker, a psychologist, has written a fascinating book, OPENING UP, on the research and its implications. On a personal note, I’ve found that memories tend to fade over time. Writing helps to keep them fresh.
Rona, I think this is an absolutely wonderful piece. So full of telling details, of craft, of feeling. Today, news reached me of a former colleague's death at about the same age as your friend. Your writing has helped to cushion the blow. Thank you.
I had dinner with a friend last night who is planning her living memorial service for next summer. She has no diagnosis or illness. She merely wants to experience the outpouring of love and emotions she knows people will shine upon her once she is gone. She doesn't want to miss it being dead! I hope I can conjure such beautiful thoughts as you've done, Rona, for your friend.
Thank you for this story. I’ve mentioned my sister Linda’s death by suicide to you before. Anyway, in the nearly 9 years she has passed, I often have dreams about her. My deceased parents are in some of those dreams, too. These dreams set me up for a good day as I truly feel like I’ve had a visit with them.
How comforting to have these dreams. My friend Val has only returned once, but it feels like enough.
Rona, I absolutely love this essay. Best, most authentic thing you’ve written (so far!) on Substack. Brevity was lucky to get it first. Kudos.
Thank you, Debbie. Losing people is the hardest part of growing older.
I do remember reading this on the Brevity blog, but well worth another read this morning as a reminder of the magic writing unleashes when we listen to the past.
Glad you found it worth rereading.
occurrences big and small that sear into the brain edit like little shocks - flash visuals that seem 2 dimensional on a screen - but every slide in the show has a whole story behind it. You describe it so so well Rona. Very loving tribute to your dear pal. Grateful for your voice - makes us think. Feel. Helps us focus on the important matters.
“I’d focus on the sharpest corner of a memory, then wait as the whole picture came into focus.” Beautifully and vividly written, with details that bring a friend to life on the page.
This is gorgeous Rona. You've awakened memories of a friend I hadn't thought to write about. Perhaps its time to dig up (sorry that sounds kind of creepy) some of those characters. Brilliant!
No one is ever completely gone while you can write about them. It’s as close as real life gets to magic.
I think the daydreams and 'not being able to remember' still hold all the truth of the real thing. thanks for sharing Val with us!
My profound pleasure.
I love this idea. Rewriting a loved one back to life.
Thank you.
Prepare to be overcome by emotion, in a good way.
Thank you, Rona. My daughter died four and a half years ago. I have the memories, fifty years of them, in my head and my dreams, but so far I haven't managed to write them. It hurts too much. But maybe writing them would help.
Ann, how devastating. Should you write your memories? I don’t wonder that the prospect unsettles you. And yet there’s powerful evidence that writing about traumatic events is good for us and helps us to bear the pain. James Pennebaker, a psychologist, has written a fascinating book, OPENING UP, on the research and its implications. On a personal note, I’ve found that memories tend to fade over time. Writing helps to keep them fresh.
Rona, I think this is an absolutely wonderful piece. So full of telling details, of craft, of feeling. Today, news reached me of a former colleague's death at about the same age as your friend. Your writing has helped to cushion the blow. Thank you.
I am honored, Jeffrey. And sorry for the loss of your friend.
I had dinner with a friend last night who is planning her living memorial service for next summer. She has no diagnosis or illness. She merely wants to experience the outpouring of love and emotions she knows people will shine upon her once she is gone. She doesn't want to miss it being dead! I hope I can conjure such beautiful thoughts as you've done, Rona, for your friend.
Now THAT’S an interesting idea. You’ll have to write about it.
Oh, Rona, I love this piece. Absolutely lovely.
Smiling...
Rona, you have absolutely written Val back to life, capturing her wit and spirit and that unforgettable smile. What a loss.
Thanks, Jane. She made that office a warmer, brighter place.
You must know how much I love this, Rona.
I love knowing that my story makes a difference to readers.
Val was such a warm, fun loving, yet wise person, you are lucky you can bring her back if only for a brief time. Thank you.
Only person I ever knew who had no detractors. It’s good to see that others remember her warmly.