I'm going to send this to my former dentist in Florida and thank him for saving my crumbling Victorian chimneys. I haven't found the right one here in North Carolina yet but when I do I'm using that line.
Dr. Tooth: "Are you having any problems with your teeth?"
Me: "The damn things are crumbling like Victorian chimneys."
Anything "dental" evokes in me a response is like nails on a chalkboard. Remember when the fad in dentistry was gum disease and they all wanted to scrape our gums? The love of my life, Sam, didn't fall for that nonsense in the early 80s. At the age of 40 when his dentist diagnosed him, he told the dentist to pull them all out and give him a set of dentures. The dentist didn't want to do it, but Sam insisted. He said it would be cheaper in the long run. And it would have been if his dog didn't keep getting ahold of his dentures to chew them up.
Dachshund named Buddy was otherwise a loyal companion and lap dog, but Sam kept his teeth in his mouth or his pocket or that dog would snatch 'em and disappear. And I confess I have to wear a night retainer to keep me from grinding my teeth and shortly after I got it (not cheap!) my Daisy dog found it on my nightstand and chewed it up. No one else has dogs who do this weird stuff? Or has it only happened to me? Maybe there's a story in thar.
Oh, I think so! The dog snatched the dentures right out of Sam’s mouth? They smelled of food, of course. But our Casey has never shown interest in our teeth.
Not out of his mouth, but if he set them down on the table or a shelf, Buddy was on them instantly. Casey is well-behaved, obviously. Buddy ruled the roost even though the littlest. A geriatric German shepherd, a black lab, two Dalmatians and a dachshund in a 10X12 cabin on 40 acres. The dogs owned us.
How is my body crumbling? Let me count the ways. Or "how much time do you have?" People always tell me how good I look, and I say this only to share the funny liine from my husband who says I'm aging/dying from the inside out. Arthritis in every joint. Non-stop pain in spite of a new hip last Sept. No solutions except to keep trying to stretch and strengthen. It is depressing, but always I remember how lucky I am not to have a glioblastoma or lung disease like two friends of mine. As a tiny PS Rona, I notice that you always smile without showing your teeth. Is that on purpose:)? Now that you wrote this whole essay on teeth, I am curious! :)! ( and btw, I didn't even mention my lung surgery, mastectomy, 11-hour SGAP breast reconstruction, hysterectomy, and there's more!- But still grateful.
Julie, you are one of a few older women I know who live daily with pain. Some of us are lucky, some aren’t. Feeling comfortable seems like a birthright until you can’t make it happen anymore, and I am sorry you have reached this stage. Not showing my teeth is a lifelong habit of mine and comes from self-consciousness about being photographed. I do have one professional shot of me showing teeth. My husband says it doesn’t look like me.
Not a surprise, as my mother preceded me with it, and not huge expense to the wallet, but to dignity (and because of “supplies”, the environment), ... bladder.
Can’t wait to see that article! I had pelvic floor therapy for other reasons, so not sure if it made a difference in the bladder front - but since I’m still not incontinent, I guess it was worth it? Or maybe I’d still be holding my peace (pees?) anyway? Who knows. My 70-year-old struggle? Sciatica. Lots of $$ spent in physiotherapy, osteopathy, acupuncture, and (less expensive) meds. Still waiting for a solution. Thank goodness my teeth are fine, at least.
At 78, I am clinging to a nice old molar which is crumbling. It’s snaggily and hard to chew with but it’s mine. Amazingly, my dentist has allowed me to keep it. It’s been two years and I think he’s shocked at himself.
Delia, I was already in my 60s when I had my first and only implant. My dentist convinced me that this option, while more inconvenient and costly than a bridge, was longer lasting and just plain better. If there is a next time, I will take a bridge. At my age I don't need the most durable solution. Getting the implant was a misery. Here's hoping you've reached the end of implants.
I expected my teeth to be what stood between me and a knee replacement. My primary doctor insisted I get all dental work needed months before the knee. “Anything going wrong in your mouth will find its way to your knee.” Good grief. I stay away from the dentist. I had one Marathon Man like dental experience and vowed “never again.”
I gave in and took myself to the local dental school hygiene program where my mouth was surveyed by all manner of teachers and professors and treated to the most thorough cleaning of my life. No one had a stake in how much work I needed. They simply scraped every trace of tartar away and told me what else was needed.
Nothing was needed. I had no cavities nor had my gums receded to the point where I needed scaling. Awful procedure, that.
The thing I do for my mouth is the water flosser. That thing is a little miracle.
Hello Rona - I do miss my dental plan, perhaps the best perk of my otherwise underwhelming clerical job, from which I am gratefully retired (except for missing those aforementioned benefits). Recently, I underwent dry eye treatments, 4 sessions at $500 each. I developed dry eyes during menopause, I thought the issue would abate once I stopped HRT, but the condition persisted, old age I guess, and my optometrist suggested a relatively newfangled procedure. Truthfully, while I have noted improvement, the results are not as significant as I had hoped. I am ambivalent about whether it was worth shelling out $2000.00. The results are supposed to last 2 to 5 years. I am somewhat skeptical. I have noticed improvement in my condition but I do feel the need to put drops in my eyes in the night. The technician who conducted the procedures extoled the vicarious cosmetic benefits of IPL, which annoyed me a bit, as I wasn't there to look younger. I guess universal health care does not include the need for teeth, or eyeballs it seems.
Great that drops do the trick for you! I don't regret having undergone the ophthalmic procedures, I have had relief, especially with daytime symptoms, just not sure if I would do it again. Too early to say. It will depend on how long results last. Drops alone weren't quite satisfactory for me. I was annoyed by having to reapply often, with minimal relief. Because these relatively new optometric treatments are expensive, I don't want to get too evangelical/encourage others to follow suit. If these optometric treatments eventually come down in price, as these things are wont to do (laser eye surgery for myopia is now considerably less expensive than it was at inception. The procedure is quite affordable now). I did find that once my tear ducts were unblocked that I had palpable relief. That has been rather good. Unfortunately, when it comes to dental care however, the prices only go up, alas.
I have had a lifelong trauma associated with the dentist. Back in the 60's in small town Woodstock, New Brunswick, my mother took me to a very old dentist (who should have retired 20 years earlier)
I don't remember the event, but was told when I came out my mother was horrified at the red swollen handprint on my tiny face. The old bastard struck me for crying.
Forever after, the dentist was the last place I would go. I would hyperventilate, throw up, etc, etc.
My teeth were neglected, and by 13 years old, I had 13 of them that had to be removed. I went many years not smiling and saving to have partial dentures made. By 23, I had saved $2000, which was a fortune back in the 70's. After paying that precious sum, and waiting weeks to hear about my beloved new teeth, we were told that the dentist went bankrupt and took off!
After that, kids and other things claimed my money, and I just lived with my sorry mouth as is.
So my old age brought me excess cash, and that cash ($50,000) worth has granted me beautiful (I think) teeth. Now I smile like a drunk chimpanzee at anyone who will look at me! haha.
Kay, this must be the worst dental horror story outside of the movie MARATHON MAN (trigger warning: dental torture). Welcome to Amazement Seeker. I’m glad to have you in my new ad-free community.
Rona, this is very humorous, loved it! My husband loves to grumble and moan about the dentist, remarking that we are funding his newest boat. His mother refused to go to the dentist, and sadly lost most of her teeth by the end of her life. I smile at my husband allowing his grumblings, and then tell him, "sorry, you are going to the dentist. End of subject." It's fun to keep the humor alive. 💙
The jokey grumble around here is abput our contributions to “Lisa’s college fund” b(she has two kids). It’s smarter to laugh than to stop seeing the dentist.
Alas I am living the same as you Rona Maynard. One by one the deep fillings go and root canal and crowns cause pain to my mouth and pocket book. But what can I do? I want teeth. My parents, Holocaust survivors, had dentures. My one consolation is good bones and gums so at least so far no one has messed with that. And my dentist has never bought any of my books! sigh…
It’s my teeth! In younger years I had implants...1000s of dollars worth. Then a couple fell out...bone loss. Luckily they’re in back so don’t show. Still have my smile teeth... but eat/bite/chew carefully these days. Missing front teeth is just not a good look. Missing back teeth leads to sunken cheeks and jowls... can’t wait! 😅😄
After adjusting to the shock 15 years ago that I had osteoporosis at the ripe old age of 55, I did all I could do to keep those bones from breaking-except agreeing to medication. The most recent scan showed worsening and I finally relented. Dentists, however, are not too pleased to hear one is taking a drug for this problem as the concern about how healing might be altered (dangerously so) if dental work is needed, i.e. necrosis of the jaw which is relatively rare. Now I floss and brush 3 times a day and hope that I never need anything more than cleaning and crowns. We will see.
Necrosis of the jaw! Yikes. I took that medication for a while and stopped when it became clear that it didn't agree with me. Aging involves many tradeoffs.
Embarrassed to chime in because I work in the industry - human and veterinary dental - in marketing no less. The oral systemic connection is real. Taking care of your teeth is one of the first lines of defense in preventative health care - particularly heart disease and Alzheimer's. People jumping on the effects of the vaccine need to look at all of the plaque in their mouths and bacteria coursing around in their blood streams. And in America, the ADA is still bemoaned by its members for accepting dental care as non-essential during the pandemic especially among other trivialities that had stronger lobbyists. Save as much as you can of your natural teeth.
Back to the crumbling body - who was warned that changes in hormones would have your neck thicker? Now every necklace is a choker. High five on the bladder, facial hair, and lovely weight gain target areas. Life is grand when you are blessed with years.
Thanks for weighing in, Lydia. My husband was not comfortable seeing the dentist during the pandemic. When he finally went back, he had a mouthful of expensive problems.
In the wake of a divorce, I acquired two miniature Dachshunds (my daughter called them our "divorce guilt dogs"). I read that they were prone to dental issues, but I figured it couldn't be that bad. It could. I lost track of how many thousands of dollars I spent on dental cleanings/surgeries for them, and by the end of their lives, both were toothless. I am really hoping that I don't suffer a similar fate.
Really enjoyed this piece. Glad to have found you via @Debbie Weil.
I'm going to send this to my former dentist in Florida and thank him for saving my crumbling Victorian chimneys. I haven't found the right one here in North Carolina yet but when I do I'm using that line.
Dr. Tooth: "Are you having any problems with your teeth?"
Me: "The damn things are crumbling like Victorian chimneys."
Tee hee! Honestly, you have to laugh.
The tooth fairy rewards children when their teeth fall out. How about a root canal tooth fairy...
Good one, Heather. She'll be busy at our house.
Anything "dental" evokes in me a response is like nails on a chalkboard. Remember when the fad in dentistry was gum disease and they all wanted to scrape our gums? The love of my life, Sam, didn't fall for that nonsense in the early 80s. At the age of 40 when his dentist diagnosed him, he told the dentist to pull them all out and give him a set of dentures. The dentist didn't want to do it, but Sam insisted. He said it would be cheaper in the long run. And it would have been if his dog didn't keep getting ahold of his dentures to chew them up.
Foiled by a dog, as we humans often are! Of all the things I’ve heard of dogs eating, dentures might be the weirdest and wikdest.
Dachshund named Buddy was otherwise a loyal companion and lap dog, but Sam kept his teeth in his mouth or his pocket or that dog would snatch 'em and disappear. And I confess I have to wear a night retainer to keep me from grinding my teeth and shortly after I got it (not cheap!) my Daisy dog found it on my nightstand and chewed it up. No one else has dogs who do this weird stuff? Or has it only happened to me? Maybe there's a story in thar.
Oh, I think so! The dog snatched the dentures right out of Sam’s mouth? They smelled of food, of course. But our Casey has never shown interest in our teeth.
Not out of his mouth, but if he set them down on the table or a shelf, Buddy was on them instantly. Casey is well-behaved, obviously. Buddy ruled the roost even though the littlest. A geriatric German shepherd, a black lab, two Dalmatians and a dachshund in a 10X12 cabin on 40 acres. The dogs owned us.
I have 85% of a night guard. Apparently it wasn’t tasty enough to finish. And the 85% still works for me. Thankful for that, because, yah, expensive.
How is my body crumbling? Let me count the ways. Or "how much time do you have?" People always tell me how good I look, and I say this only to share the funny liine from my husband who says I'm aging/dying from the inside out. Arthritis in every joint. Non-stop pain in spite of a new hip last Sept. No solutions except to keep trying to stretch and strengthen. It is depressing, but always I remember how lucky I am not to have a glioblastoma or lung disease like two friends of mine. As a tiny PS Rona, I notice that you always smile without showing your teeth. Is that on purpose:)? Now that you wrote this whole essay on teeth, I am curious! :)! ( and btw, I didn't even mention my lung surgery, mastectomy, 11-hour SGAP breast reconstruction, hysterectomy, and there's more!- But still grateful.
Julie, you are one of a few older women I know who live daily with pain. Some of us are lucky, some aren’t. Feeling comfortable seems like a birthright until you can’t make it happen anymore, and I am sorry you have reached this stage. Not showing my teeth is a lifelong habit of mine and comes from self-consciousness about being photographed. I do have one professional shot of me showing teeth. My husband says it doesn’t look like me.
Not a surprise, as my mother preceded me with it, and not huge expense to the wallet, but to dignity (and because of “supplies”, the environment), ... bladder.
Oh, the dread bladder thing. I have suffered from it and just wrote an article, coming soon. Tip: Pelivic floor physiotherapy!
Can’t wait to see that article! I had pelvic floor therapy for other reasons, so not sure if it made a difference in the bladder front - but since I’m still not incontinent, I guess it was worth it? Or maybe I’d still be holding my peace (pees?) anyway? Who knows. My 70-year-old struggle? Sciatica. Lots of $$ spent in physiotherapy, osteopathy, acupuncture, and (less expensive) meds. Still waiting for a solution. Thank goodness my teeth are fine, at least.
At 78, I am clinging to a nice old molar which is crumbling. It’s snaggily and hard to chew with but it’s mine. Amazingly, my dentist has allowed me to keep it. It’s been two years and I think he’s shocked at himself.
I often wish my dentist were a little less committed to keeping every tooth ship-shape. Hold on, molar!
He told me not to let the new, younger dentists to see it.
Oh yes. The teeth as you age. I now need braces (or invisalign) again and am about to get my 2nd and 3rd implants. And I'm not yet 60! Help!
Delia, I was already in my 60s when I had my first and only implant. My dentist convinced me that this option, while more inconvenient and costly than a bridge, was longer lasting and just plain better. If there is a next time, I will take a bridge. At my age I don't need the most durable solution. Getting the implant was a misery. Here's hoping you've reached the end of implants.
"The End of Implants" = title for my memoir?!
I expected my teeth to be what stood between me and a knee replacement. My primary doctor insisted I get all dental work needed months before the knee. “Anything going wrong in your mouth will find its way to your knee.” Good grief. I stay away from the dentist. I had one Marathon Man like dental experience and vowed “never again.”
I gave in and took myself to the local dental school hygiene program where my mouth was surveyed by all manner of teachers and professors and treated to the most thorough cleaning of my life. No one had a stake in how much work I needed. They simply scraped every trace of tartar away and told me what else was needed.
Nothing was needed. I had no cavities nor had my gums receded to the point where I needed scaling. Awful procedure, that.
The thing I do for my mouth is the water flosser. That thing is a little miracle.
The knee bone's connected to the... tooth bone? Who knew? I shudder at the mention of MARATHON MAN.
Hello Rona - I do miss my dental plan, perhaps the best perk of my otherwise underwhelming clerical job, from which I am gratefully retired (except for missing those aforementioned benefits). Recently, I underwent dry eye treatments, 4 sessions at $500 each. I developed dry eyes during menopause, I thought the issue would abate once I stopped HRT, but the condition persisted, old age I guess, and my optometrist suggested a relatively newfangled procedure. Truthfully, while I have noted improvement, the results are not as significant as I had hoped. I am ambivalent about whether it was worth shelling out $2000.00. The results are supposed to last 2 to 5 years. I am somewhat skeptical. I have noticed improvement in my condition but I do feel the need to put drops in my eyes in the night. The technician who conducted the procedures extoled the vicarious cosmetic benefits of IPL, which annoyed me a bit, as I wasn't there to look younger. I guess universal health care does not include the need for teeth, or eyeballs it seems.
Dry eyes! I have them too and will not be shelling out for a fix of questionable value. Drops work pretty well for me.
Great that drops do the trick for you! I don't regret having undergone the ophthalmic procedures, I have had relief, especially with daytime symptoms, just not sure if I would do it again. Too early to say. It will depend on how long results last. Drops alone weren't quite satisfactory for me. I was annoyed by having to reapply often, with minimal relief. Because these relatively new optometric treatments are expensive, I don't want to get too evangelical/encourage others to follow suit. If these optometric treatments eventually come down in price, as these things are wont to do (laser eye surgery for myopia is now considerably less expensive than it was at inception. The procedure is quite affordable now). I did find that once my tear ducts were unblocked that I had palpable relief. That has been rather good. Unfortunately, when it comes to dental care however, the prices only go up, alas.
Oh, I truly enjoyed this article Rona!
I have had a lifelong trauma associated with the dentist. Back in the 60's in small town Woodstock, New Brunswick, my mother took me to a very old dentist (who should have retired 20 years earlier)
I don't remember the event, but was told when I came out my mother was horrified at the red swollen handprint on my tiny face. The old bastard struck me for crying.
Forever after, the dentist was the last place I would go. I would hyperventilate, throw up, etc, etc.
My teeth were neglected, and by 13 years old, I had 13 of them that had to be removed. I went many years not smiling and saving to have partial dentures made. By 23, I had saved $2000, which was a fortune back in the 70's. After paying that precious sum, and waiting weeks to hear about my beloved new teeth, we were told that the dentist went bankrupt and took off!
After that, kids and other things claimed my money, and I just lived with my sorry mouth as is.
So my old age brought me excess cash, and that cash ($50,000) worth has granted me beautiful (I think) teeth. Now I smile like a drunk chimpanzee at anyone who will look at me! haha.
Kay, this must be the worst dental horror story outside of the movie MARATHON MAN (trigger warning: dental torture). Welcome to Amazement Seeker. I’m glad to have you in my new ad-free community.
Rona, this is very humorous, loved it! My husband loves to grumble and moan about the dentist, remarking that we are funding his newest boat. His mother refused to go to the dentist, and sadly lost most of her teeth by the end of her life. I smile at my husband allowing his grumblings, and then tell him, "sorry, you are going to the dentist. End of subject." It's fun to keep the humor alive. 💙
The jokey grumble around here is abput our contributions to “Lisa’s college fund” b(she has two kids). It’s smarter to laugh than to stop seeing the dentist.
I totally agree. And much prettier to laugh with a mouth full of teeth! haha 💙
Alas I am living the same as you Rona Maynard. One by one the deep fillings go and root canal and crowns cause pain to my mouth and pocket book. But what can I do? I want teeth. My parents, Holocaust survivors, had dentures. My one consolation is good bones and gums so at least so far no one has messed with that. And my dentist has never bought any of my books! sigh…
Does your dentist have no children or grandchildren?!
It’s my teeth! In younger years I had implants...1000s of dollars worth. Then a couple fell out...bone loss. Luckily they’re in back so don’t show. Still have my smile teeth... but eat/bite/chew carefully these days. Missing front teeth is just not a good look. Missing back teeth leads to sunken cheeks and jowls... can’t wait! 😅😄
No more implants for me. At my age I don’t need the longer-lasting, pricier solution.
After adjusting to the shock 15 years ago that I had osteoporosis at the ripe old age of 55, I did all I could do to keep those bones from breaking-except agreeing to medication. The most recent scan showed worsening and I finally relented. Dentists, however, are not too pleased to hear one is taking a drug for this problem as the concern about how healing might be altered (dangerously so) if dental work is needed, i.e. necrosis of the jaw which is relatively rare. Now I floss and brush 3 times a day and hope that I never need anything more than cleaning and crowns. We will see.
Necrosis of the jaw! Yikes. I took that medication for a while and stopped when it became clear that it didn't agree with me. Aging involves many tradeoffs.
Many, many. We'll do our best.
Embarrassed to chime in because I work in the industry - human and veterinary dental - in marketing no less. The oral systemic connection is real. Taking care of your teeth is one of the first lines of defense in preventative health care - particularly heart disease and Alzheimer's. People jumping on the effects of the vaccine need to look at all of the plaque in their mouths and bacteria coursing around in their blood streams. And in America, the ADA is still bemoaned by its members for accepting dental care as non-essential during the pandemic especially among other trivialities that had stronger lobbyists. Save as much as you can of your natural teeth.
Back to the crumbling body - who was warned that changes in hormones would have your neck thicker? Now every necklace is a choker. High five on the bladder, facial hair, and lovely weight gain target areas. Life is grand when you are blessed with years.
Thanks for weighing in, Lydia. My husband was not comfortable seeing the dentist during the pandemic. When he finally went back, he had a mouthful of expensive problems.
In the wake of a divorce, I acquired two miniature Dachshunds (my daughter called them our "divorce guilt dogs"). I read that they were prone to dental issues, but I figured it couldn't be that bad. It could. I lost track of how many thousands of dollars I spent on dental cleanings/surgeries for them, and by the end of their lives, both were toothless. I am really hoping that I don't suffer a similar fate.
Really enjoyed this piece. Glad to have found you via @Debbie Weil.
Oh, dear. I’ve heard of so many dogs losing lots of teeth. At 10 our Casey still has all but one.