Neither my husband nor I ever liked Christmas very much (in his case, a general lack of sentimentality, in my case a hangover from my mother doing too much and letting us all know what a burden it was for her). We did it when the kids were small and we did it again when the grandchildren were small. Now, the youngest grandson is 14 and has declared he doesn't like Christmas much, much to the annoyance of his mother who Loves Christmas and was hoping to have an ally (our son took after us).
But we do something - this year a buffet in the early evening of the 23rd, since there is no public transport on Christmas Day in London and my daughter married a Norwegian who makes a fuss over Christmas Eve, along with a lot of Europeans. But it was a great success. Today, we had some delicious fresh salmon for our main meal. No tree, no presents. Just a quiet day together. And because everyone goes away in our area, it is wonderfully quiet.
Yes, you are right. Everyone has to find their own way.
So you're in London, Ann. No public transport. Ah, yes. I remember our shock when my husband and I spent a bitterly cold Christmas in London, expecting Dickensian cheer, and found the entire city shut down. We trudged all over in search of a suitably evocative Christmas service (boys' choir, world-class organ) with comic misadventures on the way. That story another time. A quiet day with the ones you love is my idea of happiness.
Rona, this was a perfect way to start my day (and I'm typing this at noon)---thank you. My wife was instantly absorbed into the Torti Christmas fold. My brother's boyfriend was too. Every other year, my sister and her husband fly in from Banff and its a Torti-dominant celebration that involves prosecco and each of us hanging an ornament commemorating a beloved family pet that has long left this world.
My dad brings out a few nutcrackers that he's found at the local thrift shops. He repairs them with wine corks, Sharpie marker and gold paint as necessary. My mom's apron never leaves her waist. There's turnip with malt vinegar (the non-Torti members raise eyebrows, still). The buttered dinner rolls are forgotten in the oven, always. Last year we had to be mindful en route to the garage (where all the baked goods are stacked in tins) as the eldest cats couldn't quite make it to the litter box anymore. This year, my brother's sheepadoodle pup will be a grandchild substitute, tearing through anything at ground level. Last Christmas, my brother's goldendoodle ate the entire charcuterie board when left unattended--toothpicks and all. He has joined the legacy of loved dogs and cats and will hang on our hearts (and my parents' tree) as an ornament too.
Christmas Eve is dedicated to just Kim and I. We drink prosecco, create an elaborate cheese board and pick away at it between crying jags as we watch Love Actually, again. We exchange cards that we've drawn for each other, have a big laugh at our misshapen heads and oddly turned feet. It's our grounding time as a couple before the fever pitch of the controlled chaos of the Torti fam Christmas. Have a merry one, Rona!
What a colorful glimpse of the freewheeling Torti family. Not sure about those turnips but hey, every family needs traditions.Thanks for stopping by, Jules.
This is a perfect thing for me to read as I sit alone, having risen before others to start the coffee, bake the breakfast casserole (a new tradition I began). We have 6 people under the roof, 2 Ethiopian students studying in US, my son and his fiance, and my husband and me. Two single friends, my daughter and 2 grandsons, and my brother and his family will come later. I made some old Polish family cookies and others I've added over the years and shared them with neighbors and friends. Merry Christmas, Rona, and thank you for sharing your writing with us!
Such lovely writing! A Carmen Miranda tree! My childhood family's Christmases were tense and often ended with at least one person crying. I married into a very happy family with unbending Austro-Hungarian traditions of all kinds, especially at Christmas. It was surprisingly painful for me at first.
That was it exactly. I went upstairs and cried. "The crucible of longing and disappointment." Especially for a kid whose birthday is one week before Christmas! Oh my goodness, can you ever write. I can't wait to read the rest of your posts.
Such a relatable essay on Christmas & family. Divorces, marriages, re-marriages, births, deaths, moves, changes in attitudes & expectations -- we must always evolve!
My father made home made egg nog. I loved it.I tried to make it as an adult but there was no recipe to follow. (Dad just threw it together) . This year, for the first time in a long time, I tried again. I followed a real recipe and guess what? It was delicious
For years we celebrated with my Polish parents observing Wigilia. Now that both my parents are gone we observe Christmas with the ancient Jewish tradition of my husband. A movie and going out for Chinese food. It’s rather fun. We invite anyone who is alone ie parents whose children might be at their in-laws!
I have enjoyed your stories since you joined substack. Best holiday wishes.
Such lovely writing! A Carmen Miranda tree! My childhood family's Christmases were tense and often ended with at least one person crying. I married into a very happy family with unbending Austro-Hungarian traditions of all kinds, especially at Christmas. It was surprisingly painful for me at first.
Yup, I have lived in London continuously since 1968 and met my English husband here in 1961 when he was a student at the LSE and I was a 'junior year abroad'. Born in Washington DC (my father was a US civil servant) but spent formative years in NYC, when my father moved to work for the UN. And yes, a peaceful day is lovely – and, lucky me, is most days.
Having no transport doesn't really affect me because I don't want to go anywhere anyway, but it must be terrible for lonely people who can't get anywhere – and I hadn't even thought of tourists!
Neither my husband nor I ever liked Christmas very much (in his case, a general lack of sentimentality, in my case a hangover from my mother doing too much and letting us all know what a burden it was for her). We did it when the kids were small and we did it again when the grandchildren were small. Now, the youngest grandson is 14 and has declared he doesn't like Christmas much, much to the annoyance of his mother who Loves Christmas and was hoping to have an ally (our son took after us).
But we do something - this year a buffet in the early evening of the 23rd, since there is no public transport on Christmas Day in London and my daughter married a Norwegian who makes a fuss over Christmas Eve, along with a lot of Europeans. But it was a great success. Today, we had some delicious fresh salmon for our main meal. No tree, no presents. Just a quiet day together. And because everyone goes away in our area, it is wonderfully quiet.
Yes, you are right. Everyone has to find their own way.
So you're in London, Ann. No public transport. Ah, yes. I remember our shock when my husband and I spent a bitterly cold Christmas in London, expecting Dickensian cheer, and found the entire city shut down. We trudged all over in search of a suitably evocative Christmas service (boys' choir, world-class organ) with comic misadventures on the way. That story another time. A quiet day with the ones you love is my idea of happiness.
Rona, this was a perfect way to start my day (and I'm typing this at noon)---thank you. My wife was instantly absorbed into the Torti Christmas fold. My brother's boyfriend was too. Every other year, my sister and her husband fly in from Banff and its a Torti-dominant celebration that involves prosecco and each of us hanging an ornament commemorating a beloved family pet that has long left this world.
My dad brings out a few nutcrackers that he's found at the local thrift shops. He repairs them with wine corks, Sharpie marker and gold paint as necessary. My mom's apron never leaves her waist. There's turnip with malt vinegar (the non-Torti members raise eyebrows, still). The buttered dinner rolls are forgotten in the oven, always. Last year we had to be mindful en route to the garage (where all the baked goods are stacked in tins) as the eldest cats couldn't quite make it to the litter box anymore. This year, my brother's sheepadoodle pup will be a grandchild substitute, tearing through anything at ground level. Last Christmas, my brother's goldendoodle ate the entire charcuterie board when left unattended--toothpicks and all. He has joined the legacy of loved dogs and cats and will hang on our hearts (and my parents' tree) as an ornament too.
Christmas Eve is dedicated to just Kim and I. We drink prosecco, create an elaborate cheese board and pick away at it between crying jags as we watch Love Actually, again. We exchange cards that we've drawn for each other, have a big laugh at our misshapen heads and oddly turned feet. It's our grounding time as a couple before the fever pitch of the controlled chaos of the Torti fam Christmas. Have a merry one, Rona!
What a colorful glimpse of the freewheeling Torti family. Not sure about those turnips but hey, every family needs traditions.Thanks for stopping by, Jules.
This is a perfect thing for me to read as I sit alone, having risen before others to start the coffee, bake the breakfast casserole (a new tradition I began). We have 6 people under the roof, 2 Ethiopian students studying in US, my son and his fiance, and my husband and me. Two single friends, my daughter and 2 grandsons, and my brother and his family will come later. I made some old Polish family cookies and others I've added over the years and shared them with neighbors and friends. Merry Christmas, Rona, and thank you for sharing your writing with us!
What a fine, textured gathering that will be! Merry Christmas, Rosemarie. I'm glad to know you.
I'm glad to know you, too, Rona!
I love the part where you wrote, "HAVING RISEN BEFORE OTHERS TO START THE COFFE". 🙏 🙌 BOSS WOMAN
Such lovely writing! A Carmen Miranda tree! My childhood family's Christmases were tense and often ended with at least one person crying. I married into a very happy family with unbending Austro-Hungarian traditions of all kinds, especially at Christmas. It was surprisingly painful for me at first.
Perhaps their unbending happiness underscored its opposite in your family of origin? Ah, Christmas. The crucible of longing and disappointment.
That was it exactly. I went upstairs and cried. "The crucible of longing and disappointment." Especially for a kid whose birthday is one week before Christmas! Oh my goodness, can you ever write. I can't wait to read the rest of your posts.
Loved this Rona. You look like Ben’s older sister!
He looks like a dear little guy, unaffected by a rather fierce looking grandpa.
Your poor mom.
I was asked once, while pushing the stroller, “Is that your little brother?”
Thank you, Laura Jean, and welcome to my virtual hearthside.
Such a relatable essay on Christmas & family. Divorces, marriages, re-marriages, births, deaths, moves, changes in attitudes & expectations -- we must always evolve!
My father made home made egg nog. I loved it.I tried to make it as an adult but there was no recipe to follow. (Dad just threw it together) . This year, for the first time in a long time, I tried again. I followed a real recipe and guess what? It was delicious
..just like Dad's.
For years we celebrated with my Polish parents observing Wigilia. Now that both my parents are gone we observe Christmas with the ancient Jewish tradition of my husband. A movie and going out for Chinese food. It’s rather fun. We invite anyone who is alone ie parents whose children might be at their in-laws!
I have enjoyed your stories since you joined substack. Best holiday wishes.
Such lovely writing! A Carmen Miranda tree! My childhood family's Christmases were tense and often ended with at least one person crying. I married into a very happy family with unbending Austro-Hungarian traditions of all kinds, especially at Christmas. It was surprisingly painful for me at first.
Cool write up
Merry Christmas, Rona.
I’m always in awe of your writing, and I read each piece at least twice.
Thanks Rona, I’ve done d lot of thinking of family traditions and how it changes as a person becomes an adult.
Yup, I have lived in London continuously since 1968 and met my English husband here in 1961 when he was a student at the LSE and I was a 'junior year abroad'. Born in Washington DC (my father was a US civil servant) but spent formative years in NYC, when my father moved to work for the UN. And yes, a peaceful day is lovely – and, lucky me, is most days.
Having no transport doesn't really affect me because I don't want to go anywhere anyway, but it must be terrible for lonely people who can't get anywhere – and I hadn't even thought of tourists!
Uber?
I went to London (my first time!) in April.
I loved it. In nine days, we barely scratched the surface of the great city.
Yes, it is a good place to visit but also a great place to live.
Come back when you can.
But I will be back to London one day.
I am thrilled to see it as the setting for movies or Netflix shows.
Brings back such happy memories.
Next year we’re returning to Scotland. I fell hard for Edinburgh.
Great. Hire a car and see some terrific countryside.
We took an overnight tour to the Highlands. Spectacular countryside!
We cruise over from Florida (no jet lag!) and disembark in Amsterdam.
From there, the world is our oyster!
On our April cruise, we visited Plymouth and Dover (took a bus to Canterbury!).
I’m making up for the years I couldn’t travel, as I was caregiver to my late husband.
Now all I want to do is travel!
You deserve it, Sy Anne. Scotland, England and Amsterdam awaken happy memories for me too.