‘A grudge seeped into me like red wine on a linen tablecloth. I brandished my haul of low-end dates. "These aren't any good, but feel free to eat all you want."’
I loved so many lines here. And this one made me chuckle out loud. Oh those grudges, that’s exactly how they seep.
I read all your work and this is my favorite in a long time because I completely relate to this. My husband has the penchant to using up EXACTLY what it is I want to cook. This cracked me up SO much. We have been married 39 years (what my husband calls the best 18 years of his life) and neither of us will be changing any time soon. Congrats on surviving half a century. It takes work. And sometimes that SOUR look.
Don’t husbands have an uncanny knack for eating what you are about to cook with? Of course they do. It is out on the counter.
Over our long long domestic association I have learned to try to have certain food items on hand for him. Currently he is in a tea, Nona’s bischotti, and salted cashews phase. He does have a thing for date shakes however. But they require the use of a kitchen gadget. The stove itself is a bewilderment. All those unreadable dials. Seriously. That and an unshakable concept that this particular stove will only get hot on high. Can you smell the burning toast? I like bread toasted on one side only so we are stuck with pan toast.
I am eagerly awaiting next week’s 70 years in the making writing post. Thank you for putting your thoughts out here for us to enjoy. I laughed out loud.
The title and preview text alone had my attention. Not convinced I've ever held sway over a "larder," but the details in this were all so very relatable and hilarious.
I’m a snack food hoarder. My wife is a snack food bloodhound. I might put MY share of something aside for later, and I mean a week or more later. I go to get it and guess what? That little bag of chips has gone missing. I wonder where it could have gone.
I had to make this recipe immediately. It was delicious. I used Deglet dates as they were all I had. Somewhere in the foggy recesses of my mind is that “grandma” saying. I hear a version of it coming out of my mouth when my husband complains about something silly. Wonderful writing as ever.
My husband hears that saying a lot. Are we becoming our grandmothers? Deglets are a big step up on date-bar dates, if not as wonderful as Medjools. Glad I inspired you to make a great dinner.
Living in what I call "country lite" we are still far from convenience. Our little Lion's Head Foodland had a fire in August and has yet to be resurrected. The nearby UPI gas station in Ferndale sells grossly overpriced potato chips, jerky and coffee cream but that's about it. A grocery run is exactly that--it involves a 35-minute drive due north or south. Sheer laziness (or sometimes winter road closures) are the inspiration behind our reasonable facsimile meals. We often substitute three out of five ingredients and dream of a corner Rabba to nip in for cilantro, a lime or coconut milk. We get the main idea for most meals but, well, we can't be picky. Dates? Can I pick the raisins out of our trail mix? Will that work? Fun post, Rona. Wishing you more hot dates!
It's not the first time we've picked out particular trail mix contents in a pinch (ie. peanuts to crush on a sweet potato coconut curry soup). Today's dilemma---I was inspired to make those viral two ingredient bagels (yogurt, flour). Amazingly, we have both items but not rising flour. And to make rising flour one must add salt and baking powder. In country fashion, we found an old packet of rock salt from a box of baked pretzels that Kim will smash into fine salt accordingly.
A truly pleasurable read. Here in the "wilds" a jaunt out the door to find dates isn't really a viable option. In fact, I couldn't find a suitable date (that sounds funny doesn' t it?) at the grocery store recently. Would you consider including the recipe?? Sounds divine and I too had a giggle at Paul having to be contrite over he newfound date love! Good he had the wine!
That was so funny! I’ll definitely look for Melissa’s sesame chicken.
Luckily my husband snacks on raisins and I’ll NEVER put raisins in anything! And he doesn’t know where any of the other dried fruits are anyway. Now if it was chocolate chips that would be a different matter
Love your old Jewish granny. She’d had some life hadn’t she.
Well I hope you're all recovered, and I am heading in that direction.
About those dates, I think it was during the pandemic when grocery shopping wasn't so easy, that I began to hide things. What triggered it was a bagel. Bagels are a staple of my diet, but good bagels aren't so easy to come by, especially where I live in upstate NY. A typical lunch for me is a half a scooped out bagel with hummus or... whatever. But the bagel has to be pumpernickel, or multigrain or something of that ilk. My husband eats raisin and I never expected my bagels of choice would be in danger until the day they were. And these days I've become more alert to what else might be in danger of disappearing and have corners of the frig that I know are safe spaces. I don't think he's the only dude who thinks there's only one row, the front row, in any shelf. Somethings you can find a substitute, but medjool dates and NYC bagels, not so.
‘A grudge seeped into me like red wine on a linen tablecloth. I brandished my haul of low-end dates. "These aren't any good, but feel free to eat all you want."’
I loved so many lines here. And this one made me chuckle out loud. Oh those grudges, that’s exactly how they seep.
Another wonderful post, Rona!
Those lines really stood out for me too. Excellent writing, Rona. I really enjoyed this.
Glad you noticed that line. It came to me slowly. I have to think about figures of speech. “Like a bad stain,” my first thought, didn’t levitate.
As always, a pleasure to read you! Collect your essays for a book Rona? A la Nora Ephron?
I read all your work and this is my favorite in a long time because I completely relate to this. My husband has the penchant to using up EXACTLY what it is I want to cook. This cracked me up SO much. We have been married 39 years (what my husband calls the best 18 years of his life) and neither of us will be changing any time soon. Congrats on surviving half a century. It takes work. And sometimes that SOUR look.
He has a sharp wit. No wonder you stuck with him.
Love this! And of course was waiting for your husband's "cheap date" comment. I haven't tried that Melissa Clark recipe, but will do so.
It is SO good.
Might you ask Paul if he knows where my leftover chicken is for the nice recipe from the NYT that is was planning to make?
Ha! Good one, Alice.
Don’t husbands have an uncanny knack for eating what you are about to cook with? Of course they do. It is out on the counter.
Over our long long domestic association I have learned to try to have certain food items on hand for him. Currently he is in a tea, Nona’s bischotti, and salted cashews phase. He does have a thing for date shakes however. But they require the use of a kitchen gadget. The stove itself is a bewilderment. All those unreadable dials. Seriously. That and an unshakable concept that this particular stove will only get hot on high. Can you smell the burning toast? I like bread toasted on one side only so we are stuck with pan toast.
I am eagerly awaiting next week’s 70 years in the making writing post. Thank you for putting your thoughts out here for us to enjoy. I laughed out loud.
Oh, good. A great compliment.
Had me chuckling. The meal, wine, and company sound superb.
I married a funny guy. He married a good cook who likes to laugh (although I wasn’t much of a cook in the beginning). Glad you enjoyed this post.
Love this! ❤️
I’m so glad!
The title and preview text alone had my attention. Not convinced I've ever held sway over a "larder," but the details in this were all so very relatable and hilarious.
I’m a snack food hoarder. My wife is a snack food bloodhound. I might put MY share of something aside for later, and I mean a week or more later. I go to get it and guess what? That little bag of chips has gone missing. I wonder where it could have gone.
"Snack food bloodhound." Good one, Tim.
I had to make this recipe immediately. It was delicious. I used Deglet dates as they were all I had. Somewhere in the foggy recesses of my mind is that “grandma” saying. I hear a version of it coming out of my mouth when my husband complains about something silly. Wonderful writing as ever.
My husband hears that saying a lot. Are we becoming our grandmothers? Deglets are a big step up on date-bar dates, if not as wonderful as Medjools. Glad I inspired you to make a great dinner.
Living in what I call "country lite" we are still far from convenience. Our little Lion's Head Foodland had a fire in August and has yet to be resurrected. The nearby UPI gas station in Ferndale sells grossly overpriced potato chips, jerky and coffee cream but that's about it. A grocery run is exactly that--it involves a 35-minute drive due north or south. Sheer laziness (or sometimes winter road closures) are the inspiration behind our reasonable facsimile meals. We often substitute three out of five ingredients and dream of a corner Rabba to nip in for cilantro, a lime or coconut milk. We get the main idea for most meals but, well, we can't be picky. Dates? Can I pick the raisins out of our trail mix? Will that work? Fun post, Rona. Wishing you more hot dates!
I get it! Great line about the trail mix.
It's not the first time we've picked out particular trail mix contents in a pinch (ie. peanuts to crush on a sweet potato coconut curry soup). Today's dilemma---I was inspired to make those viral two ingredient bagels (yogurt, flour). Amazingly, we have both items but not rising flour. And to make rising flour one must add salt and baking powder. In country fashion, we found an old packet of rock salt from a box of baked pretzels that Kim will smash into fine salt accordingly.
So! Is necessity the mother of great two-ingredient bagels?
Ha, all I can say is that I didn't rise to the occasion. The bagel recipe will sit for another day!
A truly pleasurable read. Here in the "wilds" a jaunt out the door to find dates isn't really a viable option. In fact, I couldn't find a suitable date (that sounds funny doesn' t it?) at the grocery store recently. Would you consider including the recipe?? Sounds divine and I too had a giggle at Paul having to be contrite over he newfound date love! Good he had the wine!
This is one reason I am not cut out for the wild life. When you come to Toronto, I will give you a printout of the recipe.
That was so funny! I’ll definitely look for Melissa’s sesame chicken.
Luckily my husband snacks on raisins and I’ll NEVER put raisins in anything! And he doesn’t know where any of the other dried fruits are anyway. Now if it was chocolate chips that would be a different matter
Love your old Jewish granny. She’d had some life hadn’t she.
And poor Casey read the room right — smart dog
Thanks for the smiles.
Rosemary
The recipe deserves its five stars on the NYT website. And Casey is the number one expert on us.
Such wisdom in your grandmother's Yiddish saying.
That saying was part of every Jewish grandmother’s playbook.
Well I hope you're all recovered, and I am heading in that direction.
About those dates, I think it was during the pandemic when grocery shopping wasn't so easy, that I began to hide things. What triggered it was a bagel. Bagels are a staple of my diet, but good bagels aren't so easy to come by, especially where I live in upstate NY. A typical lunch for me is a half a scooped out bagel with hummus or... whatever. But the bagel has to be pumpernickel, or multigrain or something of that ilk. My husband eats raisin and I never expected my bagels of choice would be in danger until the day they were. And these days I've become more alert to what else might be in danger of disappearing and have corners of the frig that I know are safe spaces. I don't think he's the only dude who thinks there's only one row, the front row, in any shelf. Somethings you can find a substitute, but medjool dates and NYC bagels, not so.
My husband is not one of those front-shelf dudes.