This is great, Rona. Three cheers for you, on the one hand, and omg, what were you thinking on the other? I don't really mean that, but I think one of the reasons people don't speak up is fear for their personal safety. From what you've shared, it seems like the man you confronted may have had a serious mental illness. Did you make a difference? Most likely. Not to him, but to the people on the bus. It can be dangerous to speak up, especially if you don't know what or whom you are dealing with. I'm glad you emerged unscathed. It's hard to speak up for others. I was a bullied kid, and as a result was very sensitive to abusive behavior. Sometimes I speak up for people, sometimes I refrain. Sometimes speaking up in defense of others can make it worse for the other person. Never know. Bottom line after all that? We all need to be a lot more brave, for sure, in standing up for our beliefs. Keep coming from that kind, empathic place that dwells within, and at the same time, tend to your own self-care. We need you!
Nan, it didn’t occur to me that I was taking a risk. Rita’s comment here gave me the shivers. I would do it again, even so. He appalled me to the extent that doing nothing was not an option.
Yeah, but there's no telling with people who have serious mental illness. You can't count on that. I just read Rita's comment. I'm by no means trying to discourage you from acting, just saying keep yourself safe. I do similar things so I'm sure I'm speaking to myself as well.
To think we might have some effect is primarily an afterthought and something we have no control over. Thankfully. Or we would never act.
The few times I've found myself in similar situations, my conviction was clear (and still is) but the aftermath was confusing and unplanned. Why? People.
Once I had a high school student that had been creepily and repeatedly touched by a random man on a field trip and when I learned of it, the mama in me just kicked in, without fear. The police were called and it was left to the family to press charges. The parents were thankful and supportive of me, but I was still put on the defense with the superintendent of schools for this ever having happened "on my watch". For context, this was an 18 yr old, senior in high school; a shy girl who wasn't even going to tell me, but her friends did!
After the 2016 election I was greeted first thing in the morning by several LGBTQ+ students at my classroom door. As I hugged and tried to assuage their fears, another student reported that "I was showing my politics". Luckily I was supported by my school, but again, even with the kindest intentions, any act of kindness or bravery could be questioned, misinterpreted....not because we act with malice, but because everyone, everywhere, has their own lens in which they experience life. Thankfully, we can ignore that best when we feel called to act for good.
Mary, how terribly difficult—both times. Oddly, I read this comment after dreaming it was my first day teaching high school English, and I totally blew it. We expect so much of teachers.
I love this updated version of your much younger essay on the theme. It reminds me of my last visit to NYC in Feb and taking the Staten Island ferry when a similar tone-deaf proselytizer spewed hate in the name of Christ and it didn't take long before several others began a civil yet direct confrontation that rivaled any Broadway theatrical production. Transit cops lingered in the area to make sure the crowd did not eat the "Christian" alive in their unwillingness to listen to his harangue. It was so beautiful. Let's always chime in when we hear the haters and say "Enough, buster!" (Buster is such a great word).
In my city (Portland, OR) in 2017, a white supremacist began a hate-filled tirade against a young Muslim girl and her friends on our light-rail train. Three young men intervened, and they were stabbed by the supremacist. One died. It is so hard to know what to do in these situations, and the danger is real. In the aftermath, I remember quite a bit of information about best ways to provide support in such situations. I think what was recommended was ignoring the abuser (if possible) and communicating directly with the person being harassed, expressing support and offering assistance. Found myself holding my breath as I was reading your story. I'm so glad no harm came to you.
It shakes me still. (I had been riding on a different train when it happened, and it was such a painful thing for all of us who live here.) I almost didn't comment because I didn't want to detract from your important message about the importance of us standing up for each other. But this event changed my thinking about how to do that. Thank you for seeing my intentions.
I was going to mention that incident, too. It was terrible and it influences many people voting more conservatively about responses to crime here. I hope moderation prevails.
I live in Oregon as well and this was the first thing that came to my mind too. I was thinking about what I would’ve done in Rona’s position, and I think I would’ve potentially tried to approach the woman being harassed if I thought it wouldn’t further scare her (something that’s easier to do as a fellow woman than as a man), but also, even if I didn’t feel able to approach her, I would’ve discreetly gotten off at her stop to make sure she was able to safely go on her way and the man wasn’t following her, and then I would’ve gotten on the next train to get to where I needed to go. I used to be a high school teacher, and was constantly confronted with situations where I wished I would’ve responded differently, and one thing I learned is that reflecting very specifically on what I would’ve done differently helped me respond better the next time. Thank you Rona for sharing your story and giving me a chance to reflect on what I would’ve done.
Kelly, thanks so much. I wasn't expecting to encounter the holy warrior, but now I now such people are out there, spewing hate. Next time I will be ready.
Yes! Saw this after I posted my own comment below. Very well put. What I read suggested that one talk to the person being harassed, as you say, but about something completely normal, like asking for directions or talking about the weather.
I don’t know that I would have been able to summon the courage to confront this person. But I hope, pray and do believe that I would have backed you up! That second person is so very important! The second person could be the difference, the one who shifts the balance, the one to encourage a third and fourth. If I’m not the first, I really do understand the critical importance of a second, and that’s the very least I can do!
I would have stood with you. I so very much appreciate your willingness to speak up in the face of hatred.
I have done so myself and I’m lucky to be married to a fighter who always speaks up when he sees something wrong.
A time that stands out to me the most and will forever is from my honeymoon in 2013. We had been placed in a small dining room (only 4 tables) overlooking the creek, we were alone for the majority of our meal, but then a long table was brought in and set up for eight. I knew a party was on its way. I was hoping we’d be able to finish before they got there. I was greedy for continued alone time.
No such luck. The group of four couples came in and made a ruckus. My husband and I just looked at each other and he said, “why us?!”.. We soon learned.
As we ordered dessert, a man started talking to another man at the table loudly, boasting about how if his son ever came home declaring himself homosexual he’d shoot him. I dropped my fork and looked at my husband and said it’s time to go, I refuse to share space with this hatred.
My husband finished what he was eating, becoming angrier and angrier the more they spewed their hatred. The waiter came by and I asked for the check and for dessert to go. My husband stood up and got the group’s attention as he said I refuse to sit here and listen to you all talk about killing your own kid if they were gay, and the man said “it’s okay- I’m a preacher, a man of god” and my husband said “then you know nothing about what you’re supposed to preach & you’re the reason I’m an atheist. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves.”
We walked out and the wait staff pulled us aside and apologized to us. We told them not to apologize for them, and then they and other patrons thanked my husband for speaking up.
It takes an enormous amount of courage to speak up to hatred and even if we don’t see the difference in the moment, rest assured that one is always made. ♥️♥️
Mesa, how appalling. I’m glad this “man of god” was not armed (see Rita’s comment). You remind me that many years ago, I was having a working dinner withan editor on my staff, who was a lesbian. The subject of gay people came up. At the next table sat a prim couple with a little girl. The woman confronted us: “Please! There is a CHILD present!” My courage failed me. I let her get away with saying that gay people should not exist and that my staffer’s sexual orientation should never be spoken. I will always regret regret this but have learned from it.
Long back story, but I once hosted a Baptist minister and his wife as overnight houseguests. Over breakfast conversation, his 'man of the cloth' felt no compunction about using the term "a N-word in the woodpile." (Had he even noticed the nearby photo of my daughter and her black husband? No matter.) My 'hostess demeanor' instantly turned so icy the room temperature several degrees; I halted any conversation and began clearing the breakfast dishes. They got the idea and quickly made their departure. Obviously never to be welcomed again.
I have intervened but usually by using distraction, where I start talking to the person being harassed about nothing or I drop something.
with a young woman being harassed I might pretend to be her auntie and say something like "Janie! Your mother didn't tell me you were in town!" I've done that once and it worked.
Give 'em hell, Rona. Disturbing as this scene is, I smiled thinking of how my sweet Lydia would have stood with you. Lydia would NOT have called him Buster. At the 2016 Women's March in DC there was a performer who sang a song with the lyrics "I can't be quiet, I'm a one-woman riot." I posted about it and my son, thinking the words were mine, wrote, "That's my little Momma." Those words are fitting for you, my unquiet friend.
Love on yourself that you did speak up. Focus on the process, not the results. You left the streetcar with integrity, pride and grace. We need more opportunities for conversation (not monologues), and opportunities to listen to each other without judgement. I’m constantly seeking “the courage to gather.”
Rona, thanks for sharing this with us. There have been times when I had the courage to speak up but there were other times when I didn't. I abhor interpersonal conflict so that has sometimes been a stumbling block. I think it is important to acknowledge when we fall short. It is part of our continual growth process. Acknowledgement allows us to reflect and learn and hopefully change that behavior. Wonderful as always.
Matthew, I share your abhorrence of conflct. It goes back to childhood and the fear of my alcoholic father’s tantrums. Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to bear.
Such a beautiful account. You know, one of the scenes I had in my novel was precisely about bystander intervention, in situations like this. One suggestion that I’ve seen is to ignore the harasser and start talking in an ordinary way to the person being harassed — just about the weather, or asking for directions, anything. Obviously that carries a risk, just as your brave head-on intervention did. (Any kind of intervention carries a real risk.). But I think that the idea is that it brings the person being harassed into a “we” rather than an isolated person, and also leaves the harasser talking into air, hopefully without escalation. (This suggestion was seen a long time ago, and might be out of date, or I might not be remembering it in detail. Everyone should look into it more on their own. Also, see the note in the comments above that remind one of just how big the risks of intervention can be.)
I think that is a very good idea. No direct confrontation...but engaging someone in general conversation....to make clear they are not alone and the obnoxious behavior is not condoned. We are all human beings.
(At least, that's how I remember it: but it was a long time ago, around the same time that Rita's comment refers to. If I ever come back to the novel, I would need to look to see what the most recent advice might be.)
I think the question for your novel is not best practice but what your character would do. Characters can be reckless or cowardly or steadfast and brave, just like real people.
No, my (draft) novel was meant in part to convey info, including on this (which is why I would need to look into it again if I came back to it.) We learn so much from fiction. My work was explicitly intended to be a conveyer of knowledge, to teach some of the things I used to teach. (Bystander intervention isn’t one of those, to be clear — it isn't anything I've taught. I read a little about it a long time ago, and might not be remembering what I did read. Everyone should absolutely look up bystander intervention info on their own to see what the latest best suggestions are.)
Of course the scene had different characters acting indifferent ways, according to their natures! But also according to their different areas of knowledge and different social antennas.
Have been talking with a reader, incidentally, about starting a thread over on my Substack about the complicated question of conveying ideas and knowledge in fiction, including the why and how and if, in case of interest.
You were very brave. I'm not sure what I would have done. Maybe I would have sided with you against him. I hope I would have. I was bullied at school for a few years, and saw others bullied. My daughter was badly bullied and we had to interfere. My husband remembers an incident when he lived in New York as a very young man, and was on the subway. Someone attacked someone else with a knife. It was late at night and nobody in the cart moved. It's hard to be a hero. xx
A knife on the subway! Grounds for a whole other level of hesitancy. People have asked if I feared for my safety that day, but it never crossed my mind that he might hurt me.
This is wonderful. But given the hateful currents unleashed on the world by lying haters, I'm also not sure I could do it. A lovely, kind pair of young men in Portland tried to intervene in a hateful mans bullying of a young Muslim woman on the light rail. One ended up dying with his throat cut, the other barely survived. What do we do with a society that has become so vocally polarized that people are driven into paroxysms of hate so strong that they will kill ?
Rona, this really struck a chord. I could feel the tension in that streetcar. And sadly, I was on the edge of my sear waiting for the catastrophe that never came. Which brings me to answer one of your questions: Why do most of us choose to stay silent? I think a lot of times people are worried for their safety if they intervene. It scares me to think about stepping into a situation not knowing if there's potential for escalation or violence. Maybe I'm overreacting but that's just where my mind goes.
I love this story, Rona. I think it matters that we stand with each other, intercept when hatred is being directed at someone, even if we don’t see some radical change happen. Our actions plant seeds, often for others and certainly for ourselves. 🌱
This is great, Rona. Three cheers for you, on the one hand, and omg, what were you thinking on the other? I don't really mean that, but I think one of the reasons people don't speak up is fear for their personal safety. From what you've shared, it seems like the man you confronted may have had a serious mental illness. Did you make a difference? Most likely. Not to him, but to the people on the bus. It can be dangerous to speak up, especially if you don't know what or whom you are dealing with. I'm glad you emerged unscathed. It's hard to speak up for others. I was a bullied kid, and as a result was very sensitive to abusive behavior. Sometimes I speak up for people, sometimes I refrain. Sometimes speaking up in defense of others can make it worse for the other person. Never know. Bottom line after all that? We all need to be a lot more brave, for sure, in standing up for our beliefs. Keep coming from that kind, empathic place that dwells within, and at the same time, tend to your own self-care. We need you!
Nan, it didn’t occur to me that I was taking a risk. Rita’s comment here gave me the shivers. I would do it again, even so. He appalled me to the extent that doing nothing was not an option.
I get it 100%. Yup.
Also, a person has to be the craziest kind to attack an old dame like me in public. The word “courage” contains “age.”
Yeah, but there's no telling with people who have serious mental illness. You can't count on that. I just read Rita's comment. I'm by no means trying to discourage you from acting, just saying keep yourself safe. I do similar things so I'm sure I'm speaking to myself as well.
To think we might have some effect is primarily an afterthought and something we have no control over. Thankfully. Or we would never act.
The few times I've found myself in similar situations, my conviction was clear (and still is) but the aftermath was confusing and unplanned. Why? People.
Once I had a high school student that had been creepily and repeatedly touched by a random man on a field trip and when I learned of it, the mama in me just kicked in, without fear. The police were called and it was left to the family to press charges. The parents were thankful and supportive of me, but I was still put on the defense with the superintendent of schools for this ever having happened "on my watch". For context, this was an 18 yr old, senior in high school; a shy girl who wasn't even going to tell me, but her friends did!
After the 2016 election I was greeted first thing in the morning by several LGBTQ+ students at my classroom door. As I hugged and tried to assuage their fears, another student reported that "I was showing my politics". Luckily I was supported by my school, but again, even with the kindest intentions, any act of kindness or bravery could be questioned, misinterpreted....not because we act with malice, but because everyone, everywhere, has their own lens in which they experience life. Thankfully, we can ignore that best when we feel called to act for good.
Mary, how terribly difficult—both times. Oddly, I read this comment after dreaming it was my first day teaching high school English, and I totally blew it. We expect so much of teachers.
I love this updated version of your much younger essay on the theme. It reminds me of my last visit to NYC in Feb and taking the Staten Island ferry when a similar tone-deaf proselytizer spewed hate in the name of Christ and it didn't take long before several others began a civil yet direct confrontation that rivaled any Broadway theatrical production. Transit cops lingered in the area to make sure the crowd did not eat the "Christian" alive in their unwillingness to listen to his harangue. It was so beautiful. Let's always chime in when we hear the haters and say "Enough, buster!" (Buster is such a great word).
Wow! That group sure set an example. Wish I could have witnessed their courage.
In my city (Portland, OR) in 2017, a white supremacist began a hate-filled tirade against a young Muslim girl and her friends on our light-rail train. Three young men intervened, and they were stabbed by the supremacist. One died. It is so hard to know what to do in these situations, and the danger is real. In the aftermath, I remember quite a bit of information about best ways to provide support in such situations. I think what was recommended was ignoring the abuser (if possible) and communicating directly with the person being harassed, expressing support and offering assistance. Found myself holding my breath as I was reading your story. I'm so glad no harm came to you.
Rita, this story leaves me shaken. I wasn’t afraid of being physically attacked. It didn’t even enter my mind. Thank you for joining the conversation.
It shakes me still. (I had been riding on a different train when it happened, and it was such a painful thing for all of us who live here.) I almost didn't comment because I didn't want to detract from your important message about the importance of us standing up for each other. But this event changed my thinking about how to do that. Thank you for seeing my intentions.
I was going to mention that incident, too. It was terrible and it influences many people voting more conservatively about responses to crime here. I hope moderation prevails.
Oh, yes.
Me too. The issues in our city (all cities) are complex.
Rita, was this the incident? https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/two-bystanders-slain-portland-train-called-heroes-n765506
Yes, and now I’m realizing that two people died, not one.
I live in Oregon as well and this was the first thing that came to my mind too. I was thinking about what I would’ve done in Rona’s position, and I think I would’ve potentially tried to approach the woman being harassed if I thought it wouldn’t further scare her (something that’s easier to do as a fellow woman than as a man), but also, even if I didn’t feel able to approach her, I would’ve discreetly gotten off at her stop to make sure she was able to safely go on her way and the man wasn’t following her, and then I would’ve gotten on the next train to get to where I needed to go. I used to be a high school teacher, and was constantly confronted with situations where I wished I would’ve responded differently, and one thing I learned is that reflecting very specifically on what I would’ve done differently helped me respond better the next time. Thank you Rona for sharing your story and giving me a chance to reflect on what I would’ve done.
Kelly, thanks so much. I wasn't expecting to encounter the holy warrior, but now I now such people are out there, spewing hate. Next time I will be ready.
I love the suggestion to reflect specifically on how to respond differently. Thank you!
Yes! Saw this after I posted my own comment below. Very well put. What I read suggested that one talk to the person being harassed, as you say, but about something completely normal, like asking for directions or talking about the weather.
At, least, that's how I remember it. Would need to look and see what the current advice is, too — that was something I read at about that same time.
That’s a good suggestion!
I don’t know that I would have been able to summon the courage to confront this person. But I hope, pray and do believe that I would have backed you up! That second person is so very important! The second person could be the difference, the one who shifts the balance, the one to encourage a third and fourth. If I’m not the first, I really do understand the critical importance of a second, and that’s the very least I can do!
Absolutely, Linda. I thought there’d be a second—and a third and a fourth until we were all on our feet.
No one on that streetcar will forget what you did, Rona, especially the woman in the niqab. Brava.
Thank you, Karen.
I would have stood with you. I so very much appreciate your willingness to speak up in the face of hatred.
I have done so myself and I’m lucky to be married to a fighter who always speaks up when he sees something wrong.
A time that stands out to me the most and will forever is from my honeymoon in 2013. We had been placed in a small dining room (only 4 tables) overlooking the creek, we were alone for the majority of our meal, but then a long table was brought in and set up for eight. I knew a party was on its way. I was hoping we’d be able to finish before they got there. I was greedy for continued alone time.
No such luck. The group of four couples came in and made a ruckus. My husband and I just looked at each other and he said, “why us?!”.. We soon learned.
As we ordered dessert, a man started talking to another man at the table loudly, boasting about how if his son ever came home declaring himself homosexual he’d shoot him. I dropped my fork and looked at my husband and said it’s time to go, I refuse to share space with this hatred.
My husband finished what he was eating, becoming angrier and angrier the more they spewed their hatred. The waiter came by and I asked for the check and for dessert to go. My husband stood up and got the group’s attention as he said I refuse to sit here and listen to you all talk about killing your own kid if they were gay, and the man said “it’s okay- I’m a preacher, a man of god” and my husband said “then you know nothing about what you’re supposed to preach & you’re the reason I’m an atheist. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves.”
We walked out and the wait staff pulled us aside and apologized to us. We told them not to apologize for them, and then they and other patrons thanked my husband for speaking up.
It takes an enormous amount of courage to speak up to hatred and even if we don’t see the difference in the moment, rest assured that one is always made. ♥️♥️
Mesa, how appalling. I’m glad this “man of god” was not armed (see Rita’s comment). You remind me that many years ago, I was having a working dinner withan editor on my staff, who was a lesbian. The subject of gay people came up. At the next table sat a prim couple with a little girl. The woman confronted us: “Please! There is a CHILD present!” My courage failed me. I let her get away with saying that gay people should not exist and that my staffer’s sexual orientation should never be spoken. I will always regret regret this but have learned from it.
I have long wondered how this would play out if it happened today, and given that it was in deep red Arizona, I’m surprised no gun was present.
I’m glad you have learned from the regret and that you have found your voice. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us ❤️🩹❤️🩹
There’s a plus side to growing older.
So very true.
Long back story, but I once hosted a Baptist minister and his wife as overnight houseguests. Over breakfast conversation, his 'man of the cloth' felt no compunction about using the term "a N-word in the woodpile." (Had he even noticed the nearby photo of my daughter and her black husband? No matter.) My 'hostess demeanor' instantly turned so icy the room temperature several degrees; I halted any conversation and began clearing the breakfast dishes. They got the idea and quickly made their departure. Obviously never to be welcomed again.
Talk about smug and sanctimonious......
My blood pressure rose at that… 🤬
I have intervened but usually by using distraction, where I start talking to the person being harassed about nothing or I drop something.
with a young woman being harassed I might pretend to be her auntie and say something like "Janie! Your mother didn't tell me you were in town!" I've done that once and it worked.
I remembered reading about what to do and I think I remember this, worth a read. searching bystander intervention will give more details as well. : https://righttobe.org/guides/bystander-intervention-training/
Thanks for the tip and link. Looks like an excellent resource.
That is SUCH a good idea! I'll check out the link too.
Give 'em hell, Rona. Disturbing as this scene is, I smiled thinking of how my sweet Lydia would have stood with you. Lydia would NOT have called him Buster. At the 2016 Women's March in DC there was a performer who sang a song with the lyrics "I can't be quiet, I'm a one-woman riot." I posted about it and my son, thinking the words were mine, wrote, "That's my little Momma." Those words are fitting for you, my unquiet friend.
Eileen, I love Lydia stories, especially this one. I’m far from a “one-woman riot” but am growing bolder woth age. Thank you.
Love on yourself that you did speak up. Focus on the process, not the results. You left the streetcar with integrity, pride and grace. We need more opportunities for conversation (not monologues), and opportunities to listen to each other without judgement. I’m constantly seeking “the courage to gather.”
Thatks where I netted out, Kathy, but there were bumps along the way. Thank you.
Rona, thanks for sharing this with us. There have been times when I had the courage to speak up but there were other times when I didn't. I abhor interpersonal conflict so that has sometimes been a stumbling block. I think it is important to acknowledge when we fall short. It is part of our continual growth process. Acknowledgement allows us to reflect and learn and hopefully change that behavior. Wonderful as always.
Matthew, I share your abhorrence of conflct. It goes back to childhood and the fear of my alcoholic father’s tantrums. Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to bear.
Such a beautiful account. You know, one of the scenes I had in my novel was precisely about bystander intervention, in situations like this. One suggestion that I’ve seen is to ignore the harasser and start talking in an ordinary way to the person being harassed — just about the weather, or asking for directions, anything. Obviously that carries a risk, just as your brave head-on intervention did. (Any kind of intervention carries a real risk.). But I think that the idea is that it brings the person being harassed into a “we” rather than an isolated person, and also leaves the harasser talking into air, hopefully without escalation. (This suggestion was seen a long time ago, and might be out of date, or I might not be remembering it in detail. Everyone should look into it more on their own. Also, see the note in the comments above that remind one of just how big the risks of intervention can be.)
I think that is a very good idea. No direct confrontation...but engaging someone in general conversation....to make clear they are not alone and the obnoxious behavior is not condoned. We are all human beings.
Thank you — it makes sense to me too, though I think that I'll look around now and see if I can find any good sources of info on this.
Oh, someone has posted a link, above!
(At least, that's how I remember it: but it was a long time ago, around the same time that Rita's comment refers to. If I ever come back to the novel, I would need to look to see what the most recent advice might be.)
I think the question for your novel is not best practice but what your character would do. Characters can be reckless or cowardly or steadfast and brave, just like real people.
No, my (draft) novel was meant in part to convey info, including on this (which is why I would need to look into it again if I came back to it.) We learn so much from fiction. My work was explicitly intended to be a conveyer of knowledge, to teach some of the things I used to teach. (Bystander intervention isn’t one of those, to be clear — it isn't anything I've taught. I read a little about it a long time ago, and might not be remembering what I did read. Everyone should absolutely look up bystander intervention info on their own to see what the latest best suggestions are.)
Of course the scene had different characters acting indifferent ways, according to their natures! But also according to their different areas of knowledge and different social antennas.
Have been talking with a reader, incidentally, about starting a thread over on my Substack about the complicated question of conveying ideas and knowledge in fiction, including the why and how and if, in case of interest.
Please see Rita’s comment, above.
You were very brave. I'm not sure what I would have done. Maybe I would have sided with you against him. I hope I would have. I was bullied at school for a few years, and saw others bullied. My daughter was badly bullied and we had to interfere. My husband remembers an incident when he lived in New York as a very young man, and was on the subway. Someone attacked someone else with a knife. It was late at night and nobody in the cart moved. It's hard to be a hero. xx
A knife on the subway! Grounds for a whole other level of hesitancy. People have asked if I feared for my safety that day, but it never crossed my mind that he might hurt me.
This is wonderful. But given the hateful currents unleashed on the world by lying haters, I'm also not sure I could do it. A lovely, kind pair of young men in Portland tried to intervene in a hateful mans bullying of a young Muslim woman on the light rail. One ended up dying with his throat cut, the other barely survived. What do we do with a society that has become so vocally polarized that people are driven into paroxysms of hate so strong that they will kill ?
Sarah, this incident is both heartbreaking and frightening. You are the second reader to mention it. I just looked it up online. If we're talking about the same incident, two men were killed and a third injured. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/two-bystanders-slain-portland-train-called-heroes-n765506
Rona, this really struck a chord. I could feel the tension in that streetcar. And sadly, I was on the edge of my sear waiting for the catastrophe that never came. Which brings me to answer one of your questions: Why do most of us choose to stay silent? I think a lot of times people are worried for their safety if they intervene. It scares me to think about stepping into a situation not knowing if there's potential for escalation or violence. Maybe I'm overreacting but that's just where my mind goes.
Kudos to you for being willing to risk it.
You’re not the only one, Kristi. I’m not sure why I wasn’t worried about my safety. Glad this resonated with you.
I love this story, Rona. I think it matters that we stand with each other, intercept when hatred is being directed at someone, even if we don’t see some radical change happen. Our actions plant seeds, often for others and certainly for ourselves. 🌱
Thank you, Holly. A seed matters. We have been conditioned to expect a tree in leaf.